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 Old people. 
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Post Old people.
OLD people have problems that you haven't
even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his
Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical
exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take
this jar home and bring back a semen sample
tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared
at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the
previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man
explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door
and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked!
'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied,
'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.

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Fri Nov 13, 2015 8:44 pm
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 Old people. 
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Post Re: Old people.
Shite That :sorry:

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Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:14 pm
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 Old people. 
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Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:50 pm
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Location: IO95DA Newcastle Upon Tyne
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Post Re: Old people.
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.
Paddy ordered a whiskey.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy handed his drink back and said
"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"


Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:19 pm
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 Old people. 
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Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2012 12:40 am
Posts: 294
Location: wigan
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Post Re: Old people.
English, Scottish and Irish teams were climbing Mt Everest.
The English made it to 15,000ft then radioed Base Camp to say bad weather had forced them to quit.
The Scottish made it to 25,000ft but had to radio and admit defeat due to frostbite.
Finally the Irish called down, 100ft off the summit:
'Hello down there, we're calling off the climb.' 'Oh, sorry to hear that. What's the problem? Weather? Frostbite? Oxygen?'
'No, nothing like that, we've run out of scaffolding... :good: :good:

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Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:21 pm
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 Old people. 
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:07 pm
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Post Re: Old people.
A few weeks ago, an Englishman walked into a bar.

There would have been an Irishman and a Welshman there too, but they were at home watching the rugby.

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Fri Nov 13, 2015 9:38 pm
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 Old people. 
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Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2014 2:02 pm
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Post Re: Old people.
Random joke thread?

A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you"


Fri Nov 13, 2015 10:14 pm
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