Hi just a couple of oldies.

1. When is a door not a door? - When its ajar (means open lol)

2. What do you call a dear with no eyes? - No eyed dear.

3. What do you call a dear with no eyes & no legs? - Still no eyed dear.

4. What do you call a man with a spade on his head? - Dug.

5. What weighs the most? A ton of feathers? or a ton of bricks? - Both weigh the same.

Sorry about that folks. Hope it's brought a little smile to someone's face.

All the best
Tony M0MTD

What do you call a man with a number plate on his head? - Reg
What do you call a dead man with a number plate on his head? - X Reg

Old Beano and playground jokes, there are loads of them.
What do you call a bloke named Edward with no clothes on?... Teddy bear.
What goes up but never comes down?... Your age.
What do you call a burnt tree?... Ash.
What are the cleverest sweets you can buy?... Smarties.
The list goes on and on...

Wait until I tell you about my dog who has no nose, you will wet yourself

Blimey a dog with no nose... how does he smell?

There is a bloke down our street can lift a car with one arm!... his name is Brian... but everybody calls him Jack!

What’s brown and lies shaking at the bottom of the sea,… a nervous wreck

What’s big green and eats rocks,… a big green rock eater.

What’s blue and white and swings through the trees looking kool,… a fridge with a wrangler jacket on,

What do you call a guy with a seagull on his head,… cliff,

What do your call a boomerang that does not come back,…a stick

What’s a twack,… a fing a Twain runs on,


Boom boom.

My Turn
Whats Brown and Sticky?
A Stick.

I'll never Ferget Whats his name?

What do you call a man with eczema on his penis...?

Chris Peacock....

Chris has a brother who suffers from erectile dysfunction...Drew Peacock.

what do you call a man with a wooden head..edwood
what do you call a man with 2 wooden heads edwood woodwood

I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.

Oh yeah, what's his other leg called then?

Willie Wonka took a cricket ball in the groin - they now call him Willie Wonky.

Keeping with the OP but kicking the backside right out of it....

What do you call a deer with no eyes or genitals?
No F'n idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and it's throat slit?
No bloody idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs or genitals?
Still no F'n idea.

I told the wife i could make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when i pasta.